As Motherhood Under 30 Becomes Less common, Will the Societal Judgement of Young Mothers Increase?

There are plenty of statistics surrounding motherhood: how many women in the U.S. have children, how many children they typically have, and many other motherhood-related facts. But one fact stands out to me above all: in the U.S., the age at which a woman gives birth is steadily rising.

Pew Research Center claims that “[o]ne factor driving down annual fertility rates is that women are becoming mothers later in life,” with “[t]he median age at which women become mothers in the U.S. [being] 26 in 2018, compared with 23 in 1994” (Livingston, 2018). Additionally, “delays in childbearing have continued among women in their 20s” (Livingston, 2018). The article goes on to compare birth differences between ethnic groups and degree-holders versus non-degree-holders. Pew attributes these trends to factors such as labor force participation, delays in marriage, educational attainment, economic stress, and more.

The Associated Press, in an article titled “Motherhood Deferred: U.S. Median Age for Giving Birth Hits 30,” cites sources like the U.S. Census Bureau and personal stories from women. This article suggests that having children later in life may be a wiser decision, given the increased financial stability, more patience, better education, and the opportunity to enjoy life without the responsibility of parenthood in one’s twenties or early thirties. The author, Mike Schneider, states that “unintended pregnancies are highest among teens and women in their 20s…” (2022).

None of this information is particularly shocking. After all, life for women has changed significantly in the past fifty years. Women are pursuing education and career endeavors now more than ever before. In fact, more women than men are enrolled in college (Parker, 2021). Additionally, the high costs of living influence when and if people choose to have children. It’s not surprising that the average age of motherhood is rising.

But what does this mean? Women are having children later in life, sure. But this post isn’t about whether we think this trend is “good” or “bad.” The point is, as women wait longer to have children, the pool of young mothers (those under 30) is becoming less common. So, the question is: will societal judgment of young mothers increase as they become rarer?

I encourage you to reflect on this. What does the common image of young mothers look like in our culture? It’s not always positive. Young mothers are often portrayed as naive, financially unstable, or lacking patience or wisdom. Perhaps you’re reading this because you’ve experienced these stereotypes yourself or have felt devalued for being a mother at a young age, especially if your child was a surprise. You may worry that your community sees you as irresponsible or incapable of motherhood. In media, young mothers are often depicted as ill-prepared, while older mothers are seen as more mature and stable. As a young mom, you may feel dismissed before you even have the chance to prove that your age doesn’t determine your ability to love, learn, and find the necessary resources.

Reflecting on Schneider’s statement about unintended pregnancies being highest among teens and women in their twenties, there is an underlying assumption that a woman who becomes pregnant unexpectedly—particularly if she is young—might be less worthy of motherhood. If a young woman announces her pregnancy, she may face skepticism rather than encouragement, especially if she’s still in school or living with her parents.

If you’re reading this as a young mom, about to become one, or know someone in either category, you may be wondering how to cope with these stereotypes. How do we push back against society’s disdain for young mothers? Here are three practical steps and mindsets to consider:

Seek Out Positive Voices and Support

Surround yourself with people who care and are willing to support you. Seek out those who won’t judge your role as a young mother—whether it’s your family, friends, or community members. The last thing you want is to isolate yourself or hide your struggles. Being open with people you trust can lighten the load. Even if you don’t have a wide circle of support, try to reach out to those who will be there for you without judgment. It’s important to nurture those positive relationships while also avoiding toxic or unsupportive people.

Get Connected to Resources and Support Groups

No matter how many supportive people you have in your life, it’s always beneficial to connect with community resources. Pregnancy centers often offer services such as free diapers, parenting classes, and ultrasounds. If you’re part of a church or community center, they may offer helpful events like diaper drives or support groups for young mothers. Don’t hesitate to initiate conversations with other young mothers you meet—whether at the playground or elsewhere. You never know who might offer great advice or become a valuable connection.

Be Proud and Commit to a Positive Mindset

Finally, my best advice is to never feel ashamed of being a young mother. While you may not have the life experience that older women have, it doesn’t mean you’re any less capable of learning how to be a good mother. Your child has a bright future ahead, and you can still shape a fulfilling life for both of you. Society often creates negativity around specific groups of people, but remember: you are raising the next generation. That is something to be proud of. Confidence in your role as a mother will not only help you, but also set an example for your child. The more confident you are, the more confident they will feel in their own lives.

Being a young mother comes with unique challenges, but you’re not alone. Support is out there, and there is no reason why a young woman should be sidelined simply for having children at a young age. Embrace your role with pride. You are raising tomorrow’s leaders, and that’s a significant responsibility. No cultural standard should diminish your worth or your ability to love and nurture.

References

Parker, Kim. “What’s behind the Growing Gap between Men and Women in College Completion?” Pew Research Center, 8 Nov. 2021, www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/08/whats-behind-the-growing-gap-between-men-and-women-in-college-completion/.

Schneider, Mike. “Motherhood Deferred: US Median Age for Giving Birth Hits 30.” AP NEWS, 6 May 2022, apnews.com/article/health-new-york-city-race-and-ethnicity-census-2020-ccd74c4eb0f19763346e40ae3e6748af.

About the Author

Krista Ruffo is a Volunteer Blogger with South Project. She recently graduated from the University of Central Florida with a bachelor’s degree in English and a Certificate in Editing and Publishing. A passionate writer and reader, Krista aspires to work in children’s book publishing in the future. In her free time, she enjoys writing poems, taking photos, and gardening. Krista lives in Orlando, FL, with her four beloved cats.

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